Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Day 25

I can't believe Elana is almost a month old! Time has flown by but yet it seems to crawl. She is still in the NICU, still in the incubator, but is 3#12oz now and off IVs. She is only hooked up to the monitor and still getting feeds through her NG tube. Hoping to start the bottle soon with her.
Last week they were concerned with her digestive system so they stopped her feeds and put her on the IVs. I was so discouraged cause we were taking steps backward. They mentioned that Elana may have Hurschsprung's disease. Hurschsprungs is more common in kids with DS and it's were nerve endings are missing so she cannot stool properly. To fix it she would would have to have a colostomy bag for a period of time. I got on my knees and prayed for Elana's health. I can deal with Down Syndrome but I just can't deal with a colostomy. I knew God is in control and I had a good feeling that she was gonna be ok and if she did have it, God would give me the strength to "deal" with it. They did a biopsy and Praise God, the results were negative.
The process of her getting bigger is sooo SLOW. God is teaching me patience big time! Because she is a premee and so tiny the only way I get to hold her is with Kangaroo care "skin to skin". I love our kangaroo time. It is such an awesome bonding time that I would not have gotten if she were bigger. God knows the things I need! The verse "Be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10 keeps coming to my mind when I get discouraged with the slow process. Emma had her baby doll up her shirt yesturday and said to meme "SHHH I'm doing Kangaroo care with my baby". LOL so sweet.
We are so very impatient to get her home.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

She's here!

I knew she was coming soon but didn't know she would be here already. Elana's birthmom called me the morning of April 23rd and told me that Elana was coming today by emergency c-section. "Could this be true? Am I really gonna meet my daughter today? But I'm not ready. I thought I had 7 more weeks to get ready." So many things going through my mind. Praying that she will be okay cause she will be premature. So we packed all the kids, and ourselves in a hurry, dropped them off to 2 different places and off we go on our 3 hour drive to go see our baby! Running on pure adrenaline.

That was the longest 3hr drive of my life. Worried the whole way there, Worried about the babies health, about meeting the birth parents, about the whole adoption process, where we were going to stay, how the other kids would react to her, and how long will I have to be away from the family. And then I received a text...a picture of our baby girl. 2lbs 12ozs and breathing on her own! God told me "Krista, don't worry. I've got her!" I felt a peace come over me.

We finally arrived to the hospital and went straight to see our baby girl. There she was laying there so perfect and so very tiny. I've never seen a baby so tiny and yet breathing on her own. Wow! Such a little miracle! God is so good. How is it possible that this tiny human can survive outside the womb with minimal medical intervention?

The next 10 days I stayed with Elana 3 hours away while Josh returned to give the other 4 kids some normalcy. I woke up early, stayed by Elana's side until late, only leaving for lunch and supper, everyday. I was able to hold her, stare at her, kiss her and my favorite was our kangaroo care(skin to skin)time. To feel her every move, every breath, every beat of her heart was such an amazing bonding time.

I didn't know if it would be possible to love a child who did not come from my own body as much as I do my biological children. But it is! I love her so much. I love her as if she did come from me. She may not have grown in my belly but she sure has grown in my heart!

And so our long journey begins in the NICU...

Friday, April 1, 2011

inner struggle

I'm gonna take a break from posting about adoption today and talk about something I've been struggling with this past month.

I've been struggling with the idea of exercising. I know this sounds crazy but the only reason why I would choose to work out would be to loose weight and to look good for others. Seriously I could care less that it is healthy for you (at my size, maybe if I was bigger I'd worry about health). Most women work out to look good. But yet here I am telling my daughters that it doesn't matter what you look like, you are beautiful. So isn't it hypocritical of me? If image doesn't matter then why am I trying so hard to loose weight?

Monday, March 28, 2011

Puzzle picture

Here is a picture that we are using for the puzzle.

Elana Trinity Carson

Got an e-mail from Elana's birth mom. She had an ultrasound last week and Elana is 2 lbs. Dr. was concerned because baby is extremely small. She will follow up again in 2 weeks and then another ultrasound in 4 weeks. There may be a possibility that they would want to deliver early if they feel the placenta is not dong its job. Nothing for sure yet but they wanted her to know it was a possibility. She has an Echo in 2 weeks and they didn't mention anything about her heart at the Ultrasound so hopefully that is good news. Can't wait to see the ultrasound pictures

We decided to let the birth parents pick Elana's middle name because I know they love her too and I wanted them to feel apart of the name picking too. The picked Trinity for her middle name.

Talked with our social worker the other day cause I was so concerned that we would not get everything completed in time. Well we have the Home study next week and it will only be 2 visits and we have traing May 13-14th only 10hrs and not 32 like I had thought previously so things are working out. We have raised around $2,000 so far. We applied for a grant over the weekend so hopefully that will come through for us.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Lord, teach me to be patient w/life, w/people & w/myself. I sometimes try to hurry things along too much, & I push for answers before the time is right. Teach me to trust Your sense of timing rather than my own & to surrender my will to Your greater & wiser plan. Help me let life unfold slowly and let me wait for all to unfold in its ...own time. Teach me to slow down enough to appreciate life & all it holds."

Friday, March 25, 2011

getting there

By adopting a child and helping them reach their potential, they help us reach ours. An adopted child is not an unwanted child; to the contrary. They are a child who was searched for, prayed for, cried for, begged for; received by arms that ached, making empty hearts full. Love is meant to be shared." Author unknown

Elana we are fighting for you!

We got the fire inspection completed, finger printing, almost all of our paper work done, Home study scheduled for April 5th, Trainings scheduled for May 13-14th (babysitters set up) all we need is the money. Applied for grants today and praying they will come through for us.

Emma (5yrs) keeps asking me when Elana is gonna come out of her mommy's belly =) They are so excited and so are we. We bought the 3 girls matching dresses today!